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Maternal Rage

Something that surprises many mums (both new and more ‘experienced’ mums) is the anger that can erupt when parenting their children. Many mums in our therapy rooms have described episodes of anger that are like a red, hot, uncontrollable rage.

Maternal rage is an intense, often overwhelming feeling of anger or frustration that can arise during pregnancy, postpartum, or beyond, often triggered by exhaustion, unmet needs, the mental load of caregiving, and feelings of being unappreciated or unsupported. While anger is a natural emotion, maternal rage can feel sudden, explosive, and sometimes frightening, leaving mothers with guilt or shame about their reactions. It is often exacerbated by sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, and societal expectations that mothers should always be patient and nurturing. Many women suppress their anger due to fear of judgment, which can lead to further emotional distress and burnout. Recognizing maternal rage as a valid signal of underlying needs—whether for rest, support, or personal space—is crucial. Strategies such as self-compassion, boundary-setting, therapy, and open communication with partners or support networks can help mothers process and regulate their emotions in healthy ways.